


I Can't Sleep [Changlix]

by Txeknee



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt Felix, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Stray Kids post, My First Work in This Fandom, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, please be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 20:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Txeknee/pseuds/Txeknee
Summary: Felix has a(nother) nightmare about elimination night. It's being going on for weeks now, and he still insists that he's fine. The other members start to notice, and that's when Changbin decides to do something nice for him.(oorr i suck at summaries, please help?)---------© 2019 TxekneeAll rights reserved.I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS.DO NOT REPOST.





	I Can't Sleep [Changlix]

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stray Kids fanfic! So please be nice! Any and all feedback would be appreciated! 
> 
> EDIT: I've gone through and fixed some things, but as always, please let me know of any mistakes! I would also like to add that the short two ending sections are like epilogue-type things? I dunno. I might delete those later. 
> 
> ANYWAYS, please enjoy! And thanks so much for all the love thus far! <3 <3

_The atmosphere was beyond tense. Felix felt like his skin was on fire and he couldn't breathe. Lights flashed over him and the other members as JYP sat behind the desk on the other side of the room. Seconds ticked by, slowly, ever slowly until he heard the words that he dreaded to hear._

_"Felix, your biggest problem seems to be your Korean. I'm really sorry, but..You won't be able to continue with the team."_

_Looking around the room, it had darkened significantly. The other members each hung their heads low as the reality sunk in. The time after the announcement felt like years, 'it would have been better had it been years' Felix thought to himself bitterly. He barely got to know them, his friends. It was like he spent his life with these people, but it also felt like he wasn't around enough. It took all of one mere sentence to shatter his life completely. One thing flashed bright red in their minds;_

** _Felix wasn't coming with them. _ **

_Jisung was the first to move. Walking over, he simply wrapped his arms around the younger boy. Everyone had tear-stained faces now. Their pained sobbing filled the room like ghosts would a graveyard. Haunting, sad. _

_"Always find me, yeah?" Chan had said to him, choked up. Felix nodded. "I'm not gonna leave you behind." Another nod, silently thankful for the small comfort of an English response. Chan hugged Felix tightly, as close and comforting as he could. It was welcomed. Felix would miss Chan and his hugs. So so much. _

_Forcing his legs to stay upright and move, Felix made his rounds to each member. Tight hugs mixed with tears and sad words bounced off him, his mind becoming numb. He couldn't think, couldn't see as he made his way over and found Changbin wrapped into himself in the corner. Grabbing his hands, Felix forced his body down and hugged him. Changbin held onto his smaller frame as tight as he could, afraid of when he would have to let him go. He remembers not wanting to let Changbin go, but not voicing it out-loud. Remembers his "hyung's really sorry" muttered brokenly into his ear, in his mic. He remembers it all. Remembers how the cameras caught it all for the world to see him breaking. He remembers asking Changbin "why? why are you sorry?" and getting nothing but bloodshot eyes in response._

Felix sat up with a shaky gasp. His heart was pounding in his chest, tears streaming down his face. Another nightmare. That's it. Looking around the room, only illuminated by the dimly lit sky, he saw the other sleeping members. He heard the soft snores, could only just make out the tufts of fluffy hair from under the covers that had been splayed out onto comfy pillows. This was his family. This is where he belonged. He got his second chance, but.. Every night. Every night since the elimination, every night since he got called back in to the studio with Minho by his side, he's had the same nightmare. He should just forget that it ever happened, but he can't. Even with the members' constant praise and all the fans' love, he can't shake the feeling.

_Would the fear of not being enough ever end? Would the thought of failure stay forever?_

Checking the time on his phone, it read 1:59am. Felix was exhausted, but he didn't know if he could handle the horrible maze of memories his mind was more than happy to provide him with when he closed his eyes, so instead, he grabbed his blanket and made his way down the hall. His plan was to sit and wait in the living room for Woojin and Chan to get up in a few hours and help the two make breakfast for everyone. Curling up on the couch, he watched lazily as the sky turned from dark blue, to purple, to pink. The sun was rising, but his eyes started to get heavy. He tried so hard to stay awake, but unfortunately, his body had other plans.

Opening his eyes, it had gotten increasingly brighter. The television was droning quietly in the corner of the room. Jeongin, Seungmin, and Jisung were chattering adamantly about something - Pokemon? - while Minho and Hyunjin were playing some kind of game on the couch, and (of course) Chan and Woojin were preparing breakfast. But..? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

"Hey, guys?" Multiple heads turned his way, some beaming bright smiles, a few hushed 'morning's slipped his way. "Has anyone see Changbin?"

Chan was the one to respond, apron tied comfortably around his waist and a spatula in his hand. "Ahh, he went out. Should be back soon though." Woojin chuckled quietly behind him, but Felix didn't notice.

A nod followed by a quiet sigh, Felix sat back and witnessed the (beautiful) chaos in front of him. Pans sizzled with food, the aroma slowly making the whole room smell absolutely delicious. He loved home cooked meals - who wouldn't? - and it was a much needed change from all the eating out the group did since they were so busy. Felix listened as the younger members' laughter mixed with the older ones, sitting huddled around a phone staring at some funny animal videos. Felix smiled softly. He really loves them.

Woojin poked his head through the door to call out, "Alright! Breakfast is almost done! Go wash up, all of you!"

"Okay, Mom!" Hyunjin had yelled, cheekily. Grumbles filled the room, along with some more sarcastic remarks from the members. But Felix didn't quite catch them, for he was already on his way to the restroom. Part of him had forgotten about how terrible he must have looked from the previous night, so what he saw when he flipped on that light was truly a sight. 

Bloodshot red eyes and puffy cheeks. His light-coloured hair disheveled and matted down on one side. His lips were cracked and his nose was dry, pale white streaks from the tears had crusted onto his face. All of it and then some had been reflected back at him with the help of that traitorous bathroom mirror. Felix sighed. He wasn't sure if he should be grateful or mortified that none of the other members had said anything about his appearance. 

Completely forgetting that he was hogging the bathroom that other members needed to use, he was startled when he heard Hyunjin call down the hall for him. "Felix? You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry! Just give me a moment."

Hurrying, Felix ran a dampened brush through his hair a few times, taming what he could before thoroughly washing his face and hands. Staring back into the mirror at himself, he didn't look great, but it was definitely an improvement. As he was going to make his way back out to the other members, Felix heard a soft knock and sniffle from the other side of the door. Poking his head out from behind the door frame, he came across a red-nosed Changbin who was holding something behind his back. His usual black hair was speckled with.. Grass? 

"Hyung? Are you okay?" This wasn't the usual Changbin. Rarely did the older boy go outside, especially this early, and was that one of Felix's sweaters he was wearing?

"Hey, uh, yeah." Changbin scratched the back of his neck with his free hand, using the other to then reveal a handful of freshly picked flowers, all pastel and delicate-looking. "I, uhh, I'm a bit allergic, and not very good at arranging them, but they reminded me of you. And I thought you would like them?" He trailed off, looking down. 

Felix looked at Changbin, whose eyes were also red and itchy. Changbin sniffled and twitched his nose, waiting patiently for the younger boy. 

"Oh, Binnie." Felix tsked, face getting warm. He laughed quietly. "They're perfect." They were tiny daisies. Whites, baby pinks, and light blues, gathered together by a little red thread. A little wilted, sure, but perfect all the same. He gently brought his hand up to one of the petals and touched them. The small action caused one petal to fall to the floor. Changbin watched it as it fell slowly down. "Why'd you do this for me, hyung?"

"I already told you. They reminded me of you. They're pretty, yeah?" 

"Hyung, did you just..? You know I'm not pr-" 

"Felix? Do you need some help?" Woojin called towards the bathroom, interrupting him. They looked at each other for a second, before Changbin responded.

"He's fine! We'll be down in a minute!"

When the others heard Changbin answer instead, their joking remarks could be heard for miles, cackling and screeching all the while. Felix sighed, a faint smile playing on his lips. "Great, now we'll both be teased when we show our faces down there." 

"That's okay. Let 'em tease us. They're just jealous." Changbin said, false confidence coming out of nowhere. "Anyways, like I was saying. You're gorgeous, Felix. These things-" Changbin trailed off, plucking the tiny flowers from Felix's hands. Changbin smiled at him as he placed the small bloom behind Felix's ear, next to some tucked away hair. Changbin's eyes never once left his face. "-could never compare to you."

Warmth spread through him as Felix grabbed the side of Changbin's face, carefully pressing his lips to the side of his cheek. Changbin should feel lucky that his face was already red from the flowers, because Felix had no excuse to use for his blushing. The moment was ruined, however, because against his cheek, Changbin felt something wet. Pulling back slightly, he was met with an armful of crying Felix. 

"Thank you, Changbin. For everything." Felix said, hiccuping. "You're just, so nice. Y'know? You don't need to be, especially to me, but you _are, _and you always _have been, _and, and-"

"Aw, Lix. Shh. No, no crying. That's what I had to see this morning. Please don't make me see it again so soon, yeah?" Pulling Felix into a hug, Changbin shushed him the best he could. 

"'M sorry, hyung. I don't mean to cry. I was just.." Felix rubbed harshly at his cheeks, the dark red marks violent again his gentle skin. Changbin grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers. "I know you had that nightmare again, Lix. Why didn't you tell one of us? Why didn't you tell me?" He wasn't judging him, he was worried about him, just like everyone else downstairs.

"I don't like waking up in the morning to sniffling, Felix. And I definitely don't like walking in and seeing you look so.. So _miserable _on the couch all by yourself, okay? I'm not mad, but please. If you have another nightmare, come to my room, lay next to me. The door is always open for you, and I'll be waiting with open arms. I need to keep you safe, Lix. The others would be glad to help, too. Just, please."

Changbin's pleading eyes and small speech did the opposite of stopping his tears. Rubbing at his eyes again, Felix laughed sadly. "Hyung, _please_. You have to stop talking. I've cried too much, and I haven't even had breakfast yet." 

"Okay, fine. I'll stop talking, but I'm going to do this instead." Grabbing Felix's chin, Changbin's heart leapt to his throat as he began peppering Felix's face with tiny kisses, one for each freckle that made its appearance. Despite feeling dizzy with nerves, Changbin didn't stop his attack until Felix was pressed into his chest, giggling and squirming and cute. "There. Are you feeling better now?" 

A wobbly sigh followed by a blinding smile. Felix looked up him with shimmering eyes. In the time it took to blind, Felix had pressed a feather-light chaste kiss to his lips. As soon as he appeared, he was gone. Felix's cheeks darkened significantly, smile never leaving his face. "Yeah, Binnie. I think I am."

\---------

Making their way downstairs, the others had - obviously - started without them, some had even finished their plates already. 

"What took you guys so long?" Jeongin had asked, curiously. Minho, Jisung, Chan, and Hyunjin all shared a look, one that thankfully the youngest didn't catch and burst into a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, what took you so long, hyung?" Hyunjin asked in a mock-tone voice.

"It's not like that, you guys!" Changbin stated defensively.

"Not like what?" Jeongin looked at all his hyungs' faces. 

"Nothing, baby. Don't worry about it." Woojin came over and patted the top of Jeongin's head, glancing at Felix and Changbin playfully, and shooting a glare at the other four members rolling around on the floor. "Finish eating. I'm sure Lix and Bin are starving." 

\----------

"Oooooooh! Changbin-hyung got our little baby Lixie some flowers! How cute!"

"Hyunjin, knock it off!"

"HyUnJiN, KnOcK iT oFf!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! If you made it to the end, then thank you so much for reading! I know it's honestly kind of bad. I made this last night in one sitting because I came to the realization that I love Changlix far, FAR too deeply! 😂 
> 
> I also didn't realize that today was #STAY1stAnniversary ! So I thought that today would be a PERFECT day to post a SKZ first! 
> 
> \---------
> 
> Kudos, comments, etc. are the way to my heart. But simply reading my work is enough. 💛  
#YouMakeStrayKidsStay #STAY1stAnniversary #StrayKids


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